Spiritual Inquiry . com

We cannot control what happens in life. This is a sobering fact to realize. We often make the mistake of thinking that living our lives is like painting a picture. When we paint a picture, everything is under our control. We can choose exactly what we want to be on that canvas, and if the vision in our mind’s eye is not perfectly transferred, that is due to our own errors. We may not always know what we should paint, and we may lack the skills to paint it, but ultimately it is under our control, and with enough hard work we can have what we want. Life is not like this.

It is easy to believe that we can control our lives because much of the time we can. If we work hard enough at school, we probably will pass our exams. If we gather the required skills, we probably can get that job. Clearly, it is important to understand that much of life is in our hands, and that with the intelligent application of effort we can achieve a lot. However, it is equally important to understand that portions of life that are not in our hands, or at least only partially so. Consider the desire to be happily married at age 25. Do we really have full control over this? There is a lot that we can do to bring it about. We can cultivate compassion and kindness in an effort to have more harmonious relationships. We can be friendly and sociable and build up our self-confidence in an effort to connect with more people. However, we cannot really control whether someone will want to marry us, simply because it is a joint decision. We do not know how our loved one will feel, whether he or she will get cold feet, and so forth. Our control is only partial. Furthermore, we also have the many catastrophes that life can throw up – our spouse being hit by the proverbial bus, an earthquake striking, or a war breaking out. Although each of these events is individually unlikely, there is a good chance that some such thing will happen at some point in our lives, even further shattering that illusion of control.

So if life is not like painting a picture, how about watching a movie? When we watch a movie, we have no control over what happens. We may be able to guess what happens, and we may like or dislike what happens, but we can certainly not control what happens. Yet in spite of this, most of us enjoy movies, and their unpredictability is one of their best features. Perhaps this is a better way of looking at life?

The truth is that living life has some of the qualities of watching a movie, and some of the qualities of painting a picture. We must learn to work hard and cultivate our skills to shape things as best we can, and yet ultimately, we must also be able to sit back and just enjoy whatever happens. Although we try hard to make life work as we want it to, the final decision is not with us – ultimately, we must accept that life will work as it wants to, and we are best to just enjoy the ride.

Can conscience alone judge the worth of an action? People commonly assume that it can. When we are accused of wrongdoing, we sometimes defend ourselves by claiming our conscience was clear. The implication is that if we didn’t feel guilty when we did it, then we can’t have done anything wrong. Although certainly convenient, this logic does not hold. People can do many bad things with a clear conscience. A murderer may have no sense of guilt or shame whilst committing his crime, and yet we would not absolve him of wrongdoing. Therefore, conscience alone cannot judge whether an action is good or bad.

Some people view conscience as an impulse that comes directly from God. They equate following their conscience with following the will of God, and thus see conscience as an absolute moral guide. This view is incorrect. Our conscience does not come from any outside source, but is rather a reflection of our own inner beliefs and values. If such values are indeed aligned with the will of God, then our conscience will follow suit, but this may not be the case. It is important to realize that our conscience is only based on our current understanding. It is not infallible.

This does not mean that we should ignore our conscience. On the contrary, going against our conscience is never a good idea. However, we do need to realize that our conscience must be developed, and thus by implication, can be distrusted. Clearly we should never act against our own values, but we must still be open to the possibility of changing these values. We can only act based on what we know at the time, but we should always strive to increase this knowledge.

Therefore, developing our conscience is an important pursuit in life. It is easy to cause pain in this world, and it requires great insight and thoughtfulness to minimize this. We must think about our actions and how they make others feel. We must evaluate our values and our understanding of human nature. Our feelings are not the ultimate guide to right and wrong – they simply reflect our thoughts. Hence we must think about what is truly good for ourselves, for others, and for the world. Only then can our conscience properly develop, and only then can our actions be congruent with the right way to live.