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Our natural reaction to boredom is to find something different to do. We look for something more exciting, more engaging. Although there are definitely times when this is appropriate, often this attitude makes our problems worse. Boredom is caused by a restless mind, a mind that is unable to stay with an activity. We live in a society where we are engaged in constant stimulation: while waiting in a supermarket queue we have magazines to browse and text messages to send, not to mention the constant chatter of thoughts in our head. The unfortunate result of this is that our minds have become so used to stimulation that they cannot tolerate its lack. Furthermore, the more we indulge these impulses for stimulation, the greater our need becomes. Therefore, despite the widely varied activities in which we now engage, boredom in society is prevalent.

How do we counter this state of mind that so easily facilitates boredom? The solution is not to go out and find new things to do, but rather to calm down and learn to focus on whatever we are already doing. We must encourage our minds to calm down and relax. We must forget the daydreams, drop the distractions, and just learn to pay attention. This may seem contradictory - isn’t the boredom of an activity precisely what stops us from paying attention in the first place? Actually, no. Although we often associate boredom with certain activities, boredom has more to do with our own state of mind. Rather than boredom causing inattention, it is our inability to concentrate on something that causes us to lose interest. This is demonstrated in the following Scientific American quote:

In one classic 1989 experiment, psychologists James Laird and Robin Damrad-Frye of Clark University discovered that very low level distraction such as a quiet television turned on in the next room led participants to describe a listening comprehension task as “boring.” Unaware of what was distracting them, the subjects could find no other explanation for their inattention. But when the TV was blaring, the subjects instead commented that the sound made it impossible to focus. Without any distraction, some students actually said that what they had heard in the comprehension exercise was stimulating. The results thus support the authors’ hypothesis that “the essential behavioral component of boredom is the struggle to maintain attention.”

Therefore, developing the ability to focus is more crucial than ever. After all, dealing with boredom is not just a mere convenience. Frequent boredom puts us at greater risk for anxiety and depression, and has an adverse effect on our work and our social interactions. In contrast, learning to pay attention helps the mind to relax and rest in the moment, directly counters the thought patterns that lead to boredom, and thus brings about a stress-free and contented life, imbued with inner peace.

When we feel irritable, the mind is restless and dissatisfied: anger is never far from the surface. In this state, we react unreasonably to the slightest provocation, and our lives are generally miserable. Clearly it is important to deal with irritability and to stop it from arising. How do we do this?

Irritability arises when 1) we have some idea of the way that we think events ought to be happening, and 2) events are not happening that way. It is essentially a problem of not accepting situations, and to fix this problem we must learn to go with the flow and to take things as they come. As said by the Dalai Lama in The Art of Happiness, “If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it….Alternatively, if there is no way out, no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you can’t do anything about it anyway.” This sound logic simply states that we must learn to accept whatever happens unless it can be changed. Furthermore, if it can be changed, we should focus on changing it rather than being irritable about it.

Why are we so bad at simply accepting unpleasant situations? For some reason, we have the mistaken belief that life can and should be perfect. This belief must be challenged. We need to realize that things will sometimes “go wrong” and that others will sometimes disagree with us. Life is not perfect. Just as sickness and death are an inevitable part of life, so are mistakes, disagreements, and all those other causes of irritation. If we want to accept imperfect situations, we need to realize that life was never meant to be perfect in the first place.

Thus, when we find ourselves becoming irritable, we must remember that life is imperfect and that we must accept whatever happens. Furthermore, we can question whether the situation really warrants such misery and agitation, and why we would want to spoil our mood for it. If we are still unable to dispel the irritability, a final option is to simply laugh. Laughing at life is a wonderful antidote to irritability that goes straight to the heart of the matter and recognizes that none of this is that big a deal. This realization is an important realization to make if we wish to lead a relaxed and peaceful life.