Archive for Fear

Entertainment mentality

Our society is in a constant search for entertainment. While standing in line at the supermarket, we scan the magazine headlines. While eating our breakfast, we browse the newspaper. As soon as one activity is finished, we immediately look for another – something to engage our senses or to occupy our minds. Seldom do we ever just sit still and rest in the present moment.

Why must we always be entertained? Entertainment is defined as “an activity that is diverting and that holds the attention”. Why do we need activities to hold our attention? What are we trying to divert our attention from?

The sad truth is that many of us are uncomfortable simply being with ourselves. We hold within ourselves these anxieties that we are unwilling to face, and so we avoid stillness at all costs. It is similar to a student who may find all manner of tasks to do in order to procrastinate from studying. Paradoxically however, seeking entertainment only increases our anxiety. It creates a sense that we are avoiding something, which is in itself a cause of stress. Furthermore, by losing touch with ourselves, internal conflicts and emotions build up without us being aware of them.

Even a little time away from this entertainment mentality goes a long way in returning peace and stillness to our lives. There is a very simple method for achieving this. Between any two activities, we simply rest for a moment in stillness. If we wish, we can focus our attention by letting the mind rest with the gentle flow of breath in and out of our bodies. Initially, these pauses between activities may not seem still at all, because they make us aware of just how turbulent our minds are. However, with time, our minds become conditioned to these moments of rest, and they make an enormous difference to our days. Therefore, the next time we catch our minds jumping from one activity to another, craving some kind of entertainment, we should instead try to just sit still for a moment, and to gently observe what happens. The results may be pleasantly reassuring.

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Attachment: the root of insecurity and anxiety

What do we worry about? Whether we will lose our job? Whether our spouse will leave us or cheat on us? Whether a loved one will fall ill and die? Why do we worry about such things? Do we worry because they are likely possibilities? Or is such worrying mere paranoia? In either case, how can we reduce this anxiety?

Like it or not, none of the events I have mentioned are unavoidable. We can certainly reduce the risk of their occurrence: if we work hard then our job is more secure; if we take care of ourselves then our health is better; if we put a lot of energy and love into our relationships then we are less likely to split from our spouse. All of these efforts will improve our lives and will lower our anxiety. However, if we are after some kind of 100% guarantee that nothing will go wrong, then we were born to the wrong species and we live on the wrong planet.

Ultimately, anything could happen. The only way to find security is to accept this. The root cause of our anxiety is attachment. We are attached to the idea that our happiness relies on financial stability, a secure relationship, and good health for ourselves and for those around us. Because none of these things can ever be guaranteed, we can never be rid of anxiety if we harbour such beliefs. We can only release anxiety if we accept that any of these things could be taken away from us, and that it does not matter if they are.

Thus, we must drop our attachments. We must ask what is really essential. If we answer this honestly, we will find that our happiness has more to do with who we are than with what happens to us. It is easy to become attached to an idea and to convince ourselves that we cannot be happy without it. However, this is ultimately a delusion, leading only to insecurity and anxiety. We must realize that none of these things are so important after all.

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