Archive for September, 2007

Downsides of desire

Western psychology often leaves untreated the downsides of desire. In truth, desire is an extremely dangerous emotion that can drive one to despair. The problem with desire is that it is rooted in unreality. We believe that the object of our desire will bring us happiness, and because this belief is wrong, we waste our lives pursuing the wrong things. When we do get the object of desire, we may be temporarily happy. However, this happiness is not because of the object itself, it is because for a moment we are free of desire. Our unhappiness did not come from our lack, it come from our desire.

When we feel down, we naturally look for something to cheer us up. Because of this, desire can be an escape. It gives us something to focus on, something to want. The thought of having no desires seems depressing to some. It seems that there would be nothing to hope for, nothing to look forward to, no way to cheer oneself up when misery strikes.

The truth is that neither our desires, nor the objects of our desire, bring happiness. Happiness comes from training the mind to be at peace, from forgetting oneself and looking out for others, from removing destructive emotions. Desire is the root of attachment and greed, of discontentment, of anger and irritability. Be very careful to avoid taking it to excess.

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Happiness and hope

When we are unhappy, most of us have some reason to blame it on. We are unhappy because our job is stressful, or because we are short of money, or have no partner. In reality, the causes of unhappiness lie within our own mind. However, unaware of this fact, we try to improve our external conditions. There is some small value to this – it can give us hope and something to focus on. We believe that we can be happy, but we just need to put in that extra effort to earn more money, get that promotion, find that loving partner we have always dreamed of.

Many people live their lives like this. However, some of us come to the realization that these external things do not improve our happiness. Maybe we come to this realization through reasoning and observation, or maybe we get to that point where life just seems outwardly perfect and yet we still feel miserable. This can be scary – we are unhappy and don’t know why. With seemingly no way to escape, we can fall into a deep depression.

In reality, this realization is not at all depressing. It is true that we cannot make ourselves happy through external conditions, but this is not a depressing fact. Since we cannot always control the external world, it should be very comforting to know that we are not dependent on it for happiness! Of course, there is one other realization that we need to make. We need to realize that there is still a way that we can make ourselves happy, but this way depends solely on the internal conditions. Through training the mind and improving our attitude, happiness can pervade every moment of our life.

Never give up hope in the quest for happiness. Every human being is capable of it. We devote so much energy to other aspects of life, so do the same with happiness. Have faith that you have the resources and capabilities to achieve it, and you will be successful.

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