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Although we often ignore problems for far too long, sometimes we can do the opposite. Over-critiquing our lives, selves, and relationships, is a damaging habit. It conditions us to expect problems, make a big deal out of everything, and forget to relax.

Imagine if your spouse were constantly evaluating your relationship. Something like: “Honey, we’re doing well, but you need to smile smore when we talk on the phone.” Wouldn’t this drive you crazy to have your every action under a spotlight? Yet when we constantly analyze and critique every detail of our lives, this is exactly what we are doing.

I do not advocating ignoring problems. However, I do advocate dealing with things in the proper amount of time. When you feel sad, this is not an emergency. Everyone gets sad from time to time. Just sit back and accept it. When you feel happy, don’t immediately analyse it and figure out how to preserve it. Just sit back and enjoy it. If something is genuinely a problem, it will linger for a while, and then you can deal with it. However, most things that disturb us in life are just minor transient feelings. If you get in the habit of analysing every one of these, life becomes very heavy indeed!

Many of us avoid stillness at all costs. Perhaps we are afraid of what we will find. This gives rise to the entertainment mentality in which we are constantly looking for some kind of distraction or entertainment. As soon as one activity is finished, or even before it is finished, we look for something to eat or drink, we check our e-mail or surf the net, we make a phone call or rush off to do something else. However, we do not simply sit still, not even for a moment, and just rest with ourselves and the present moment.

This condition is a problem. The danger is that we lose touch with ourselves. Stresses and internal emotions can build up without us becoming aware of them.

The solution is simple but does require some discipline. At the end of an activity, simply rest in the stillness for a few seconds. Those few moments of stillness between each activity can make an enormous difference to our day, allowing us to lead more productive, fulfilling, and happy lives.