Spiritual Inquiry . com

There are two sides to every conflict. You can blame the other, or you can blame yourself. Although the blame is seldom equally split, and may be nearly entirely the other’s fault, it is useful to look for the part you played. You must have played some part, because I think it is safe to say that if you were fully enlightened, very few conflicts would occur.

This provides a great opportunity. When you experience conflict, you have been given an opportunity to see your own shortcomings. The conflict may not even be with a person - perhaps your leaking pipe has just flooded your kitchen - if you are upset, if you yell at your pipe, then you have helped bring about your own misery.

There is a Zen story of a man who searched for the most grouchy ill-tempered wife he could find. The idea was to reveal his weaknesses. While I would not go to that extreme, it is worth remembering…problems are opportunities, they are windows into our self. They are useful reminders and can be embraced as such. They need not be viewed as simply bad.

Many religions discuss the importance of belief. For some, a religion is not about how we think or act, but rather about what we believe. However, can we really choose what we believe? Either we think something is true, or we do not. We can re-evaluate the evidence, and maybe we will change our belief, but there is no way to intentionally choose to believe one thing or another. If we do try to convince ourselves to believe something, and profess this to ourselves and others, then it is more an exercise in self-delusion than a belief.

A lack of belief does not infer any negative judgement on oneself. Our beliefs are simply based on our experience, what we have seen and heard. We cannot change this. There is one thing that we can do however, and that is to investigate. Take a simple example such as the belief that doing good to others will bring happiness to yourself. You may believe this statement, or you may not. Whatever you believe, you cannot change it directly, but you could investigate it. You could spend the next year of your life doing good to others, and see for yourself whether the statement is true. This may strengthen your belief, or it may reverse your belief. In either case, it has made your belief more accurate.
Reading spiritual texts is not about learning what to believe, it is about learning what to investigate. We cannot choose our beliefs, but by inquiring and observing, we can encourage more accurate beliefs to form.